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Want to Pick My Brain?

Here’s why you want to pick my brain (I have the best brain)

  • I have 15+ years of experience in my field. 
  • I’m smart. I managed to get kicked out of a special ed and an English as a second language class*.
  • A few folks think that I am funny. If bullet point #2 made you smile, you may enjoy my brain. 
  • If you read #2 and went WTF?! I wish I made the anecdote up. Sadly, strange things always happen to me. I learned to embrace it and made a career out of fixing unusual algorithmic challenges. Ultimately, this is why you want to pick my brain: my perspective may be useful to you.

Can I pick Your Brain? Yes, but here’s how it’s going to go

Pick My Brain

Brain picking feels like you are doing yourself a favor but it wastes my time. Let’s be honest, it’s not good for my portfolio. I don’t have one. Ultimately, this activity isn’t reciprocal. Give me a good reason to say yes because otherwise, it will remain a firm no.

  • I’m ego-centric: if I decide to give advice, I do it on my own terms.
  • Format varies: You may want a coffee sesh and could get an email with relevant info. Bottom line: the advice is free but my time isn’t.
  • I’m not Alexandre Dumas or Voltaire: If you ask me a question that requires a novel-length answer, you will get a lot of links to read. I don’t have time to break it down for you for free.
  • NO COFFEE fuelled advice. Don’t offer me coffee, I hate the stuff. Can you take me to a fancy|hipster|fun|secret spot? This counts. Are you a broke-ass college student? Get creative kid: laughter and quirk will get you far.
  • If I say no, it means no. I am one petty bitch. Do not force my hand, you won’t like the result.

How to ask for free advice

I need an idea of what it’s about. Provide me with a topic to help me decide if I can help or not. If it is, it helps me be more efficient and improve the way I help you out. Provide context: tell me who sent you, why, how I can help and why I should care.

The exact process

  • Google me. Spend some time figuring out what I am about.
  • Make the intro quick and memorable.
  • Ask specific questions: 1 or 2 questions max. 
  • Google the questions first.
  • Do not offer to “hop on a quick call”. I hate phone calls. 
  • If you don’t hear back, do not follow up.
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You are not entitled to picking my brain

You want me to streamline all the relevant info I know into an intense hour of brain picking. I want to finance my lifestyle. I have heard all types of excuses ranging from the magical to the absurd. Here’s what we could do instead of brainpicking.

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Trade

I have exchanged services with a few select people once in a while. I will give advice in exchange for theirs. Do you have something of equal value that could help me? Give it a try! I have exchanged my knowledge for obscure plant knowledge, a bottle of local alcohol and a business photoshoot. 

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Mentorship & Training

I give workshops all around the world and am licensed trainer in Québec. For those that cannot afford these types of services, I also always make sure to share my knowledge in meetups, conferences and subsidized college courses (2$ an hour – it’s a great program). 

I also help three startup incubators and mentor entrepreneurs through these institutions. If you are a member of one of these, feel free to ask them for a brain picking date. The one I can absolutely talk about publicly is Fondation Montréal Inc. 

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Not good enough for you?

No is just the beginning of the conversation for you I’m sure. Here’s the problem: if you do not fit in the categories that I have described, I don’t care.

If picking my brain will have some sort of business benefit for you, you want the benefits of my services. Sounds like you want a consultant and we should absolutely talk to each other, just not over lunch or coffee. 

talented motherfucker

What next?

If you ended up on this page because you were provided a link: you can pick my brain but it’s not free. I have a 500$ fee for one hour. Come ready with your homework done, your questions in order, your pitch down to a minute or so and I will give you kickass value. 

I run what we call “Private Masterclasses” where consultants and freelancers pitch in and tell me what they need to be trained on. Then I set up a massive list of tips, tricks, concepts that I have acquired over 15 years. Here’s what you should know:

  • The Masterclasses run once per quarter
  • They are never advertised
  • They are held in various cities depending on my schedule and the demand
  • I teach groups of 8 people maximum
  • They can be taught in English or French or Hungarian
  • I do not organize them. Folks usually figure out things themselves and seek me out once the logistics are in place. 
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