Here’s why you want to pick my brain (I have the best brain)
- I have 15+ years of experience in my field.
- I’m smart. I managed to get kicked out of a special ed and an English as a second language class*.
- A few folks think that I am funny. If bullet point #2 made you smile, you may enjoy my brain.
- If you read #2 and went WTF?! I wish I made the anecdote up. Sadly, strange things always happen to me. I learned to embrace it and made a career out of fixing unusual algorithmic challenges. Ultimately, this is why you want to pick my brain: my perspective may be useful to you.
Can I pick Your Brain? Yes, but here’s how it’s going to go
Brain picking feels like you are doing yourself a favor but it wastes my time. Let’s be honest, it’s not good for my portfolio. I don’t have one. Ultimately, this activity isn’t reciprocal. Give me a good reason to say yes because otherwise, it will remain a firm no.
- I’m ego-centric: if I decide to give advice, I do it on my own terms.
- Format varies: You may want a coffee sesh and could get an email with relevant info. Bottom line: the advice is free but my time isn’t.
- I’m not Alexandre Dumas or Voltaire: If you ask me a question that requires a novel-length answer, you will get a lot of links to read. I don’t have time to break it down for you for free.
- NO COFFEE fuelled advice. Don’t offer me coffee, I hate the stuff. Can you take me to a fancy|hipster|fun|secret spot? This counts. Are you a broke-ass college student? Get creative kid: laughter and quirk will get you far.
- If I say no, it means no. I am one petty bitch. Do not force my hand, you won’t like the result.
How to ask for free advice
I need an idea of what it’s about. Provide me with a topic to help me decide if I can help or not. If it is, it helps me be more efficient and improve the way I help you out. Provide context: tell me who sent you, why, how I can help and why I should care.