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Underwater Diving Photography Story Time

“THIS is why EVERYONE turns left here, where WE FUCKING TURNED RIGHT”

murky bottom of the sea floor?

If you look closely, you can absolutely tell that Martin is in the background. If you squint, off in the distance, you can make out the shape of his colleague John. Let me blow it up for you so you can see him correctly :

John Mueller Underwater

But let us go deeper, tragedy is about to strike underwater…

Great – I wanted a nice pic of the boat and my buddy but NOO – one fin kick too close to the silty bottom and … well.

Underwater Search With Martin Splitt

This is what happens when you kick up a fuss.

I named this one: “WHERE the FUCK are we and WHY ARE THERE PIPES?”

These Pipes Carry The Internet Underwater

This is the Internet. That’s why there are pipes at the bottom of the ocean. Alternatively, if this picture was shot in a lake, we’ll agree that the internet must go through lakes as well.


What Statue Question Mark

What statue are we talking about exactly? There is not statue, only beautiful sleek scaly beauties. Gaze upon the wonders of…what type of fish is that? Trout? The second one doesn’t look like a trout. Let me Google that. OK, apparently this is a scene from :

Underwater Fish Acting

I’m not sold. Let me *dive* in with Cloud Vision:

fish analysis

Verdict: the artist needs to stop peddling moderately racy smut. The fish need to be less aggressive in their swimming because the overall violence of the image is mildly high. Our world cannot handle this much excitement right now. We need to tone it down!

Ah yeah, my light is perfectly set for this night dive and there is a fish. Buddy: *points a fucking SKYLIGHT on the poor fishy, ruining my picture and the fish’s night*

You Blinded The Fish

There go the fish’ eyeballs…

Final Verdict?

talented motherfucker